Across the star-crossed and love-struck galaxy that Bungo has created, there is one thing that remains constant and will never change.
The mass majority of the millions of Guardians who roam this solar system are all experts in game design. Thus, therefore, and hitherto us Guardians all know the one thing that will fix the game. Well fellow Ghosts and Guardians, it is time for me, Kerdack, to get on my soap box and tell you the real one simple thing that will fix Destiny 2: Forsaken.
To get there I need to cover 3 seemingly unrelated things:
- The now 100% baldness issue of Vanguard leaders
- The new Sunbreaker Titan throwing hammer melee
- The consistent use of the Knight motif in armor design
A: Did you know that the Vanguard leaders are now entirely bald?
Yes, you heard me right. And not just the men, but the women and children too!
For cereal though, Zavala and Ikora are bald. In a wonderous future full of excitement and renegade heroes running around making aliens go ker-spalt, we still haven’t solved male-pattern-baldness. Or female-pattern-baldness, apparently.
Even when Cayde-6 was still a wise-cracking Ace, he too was bald. See… Robots can’t have hair.
This means that there is a legitimate baldness epidemic throughout the Destiny universe which stretches beyond humans to Awoken and robutts too. You’d think that before the Speaker was abruptly cut short, he could have fake-talked-to the Traveler and solved the real epidemic of the galaxy: baldness. But nope, that bitch was fine with it.
I may be looking at this the wrong way, Bungo could have been making a social commentary on how in a future full of war and craziness, social norms like attractive hair may not be important. But I’m here to tell you, what decorates your head still applies in the future.
2: Do you realize all the physics and game design that went into the Titan throwing hammer?
Across my lifetime, I’ve played quite a few games; that means that I am qualified to comment on game design at an expert level.
Using the physics engine created in Destiny 2, Bungie was able to create a flaming Hammer of Justice which is able to be thrown and picked up later.
On top of all the other interactible objects in the game which you are able to pick up (especially those cool explody exotics from that one quest) there is a fantastic opportunity to make more interactible objects throughout the game.
We hop across the galaxy killing enemy scum for hours on end as devoted Guardians, but other than Titans our main interaction with the universe is definitely not picking up exotics, just picking up the legendary engrams.
This is a huge missed opportunity.
4: Overuse of the Knight motif in armor design
As an artist and designer myself, I can get trapped in the same creative bubble as Bungie. Drawing Batman and Sonic over and over for years may not seem like an issue, but pretty soon all designs end up being spikey blue spandex clad characters. Bungo, we don’t want that.
Think outside the bun, Bungie!
With Forsaken huge strides were taken in character design and the Iron Banner armor shows that we now have cool Samurai motif armor. So lets keep the trend going and make new exciting armors, emotes, etc.
My Solution:
Bungie, and anyone else listening, the one thing that would fix Destiny is so clear and so simple. You have the need and you have the the capability!
What would solve the baldness and knight motif design problem while using an interactible system that is already implemented into the game?
That’s right, Cowboy hats.
I want to be able to jump around the galaxy with a cowboy hat on my Guardian looking all cool as a space-bounty hunter/cowboy.
BUT KERDACK, you mumble loudly, WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH AN INTERACTIBLE SYSTEM.
Allow me to illustrate via a Youtube embed video:
Look, Mario 64 made it work. Anytime a crazy spoopy Hive melees me, I want my hat to be knocked off… I want my Guardian to be all depressed and mopey until I pick up the hat again. Like the Titan throwing hammer.
There you have it, Bungie and fellow Guardians… The ONE simple fix that would fix all of Destiny.
#mopeycowboyind2
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